Recently, I experienced a surprising moment during a conversation with my mother. I expressed my concern about her tendency to excuse my brother’s behavior, as he seems to be her favorite.
Unexpectedly, my 15-year-old nephew interjected, stating that my brother is my mother’s favorite child, just as my baby is my favorite. I turned to him in disbelief, realizing he was referring to my 11-month-old baby—who, at this stage, can neither walk nor talk.
His comment lacked any clear justification, likely stemming from my nurturing approach towards the baby, contrasting with the way I guide my four-year-old according to his developmental needs. I shower the baby with love and affection, as is essential during the first year, but as children grow, I introduce boundaries and discipline. I followed this approach with my firstborn, ensuring he understands our values and expectations.
I share a profound bond with my eldest child, one that began at conception. It may sound peculiar, but I can pinpoint the moment I desired him and the exact time of his conception. I always felt he was gifted and anticipated his strong-willed nature, much like his father. During his first year, he was primarily with me, and once we moved in with my husband, their relationship blossomed.
Their shared traits deepened the connection between my son and my husband, who naturally took on the role of a friend and parent. In contrast, I embraced the role of teacher and disciplinarian, which sometimes leads others to perceive me as strict. While I do maintain high standards for my eldest, I also prioritize nurturing his emotional well-being. Behind closed doors, I provide guidance after discipline, offer comfort when needed, and help him navigate conflicts with his father. I may be the disciplinarian, but I also serve as the emotional anchor for my family.
At the same time, my baby requires increased attention and care. I strive to ensure that he receives the same love and support that my eldest experienced during his formative years.
